THE DAD MANUAL
RESTRICTED: DAD USE ONLY

THE DAD MANUAL

Field-Tested Notes on Domestic Operations

An unofficial archive of recurring domestic incidents. Compiled over time. Updated occasionally.

DIAGRAM / REFERENCE
Unofficial field documentation. Updated occasionally.

MANUAL LIBRARY

Select edition.

THE DAD MANUALISSUE 26011

Domestic Operations

Quiet checks, sofa naps, structural chaos.

DIAGRAM / REFERENCE
SILENCE ZONESNACK CACHESTRUCTURAL WEAK POINTREMOTE GRAVEDO NOT WAKE DADCOMPONENT: SOFA UNITSTATUS: OCCUPIED (INTERMITTENT)REV: 1.0 • USE: DOMESTIC OPS
IN THIS MANUAL
  • •When it goes quiet
  • •The sofa nap
  • •Glitter
TABLE OF CONTENTSOpen manual
THE DAD MANUALISSUE 26021

Sleep Systems

Bedtime delays, 3am callouts, tactical naps.

DIAGRAM / REFERENCE
WATER REQUEST"ONE MORE" LOOP3AM WAKE TRIGGERTACTICAL STALLINGSLEEP CAPTURE RATE: VARIABLELIGHTS OUT FAILURECOMPONENT: BED SYSTEMSTATUS: FRAGILEREV: 1.0 • USE: SLEEP OPS
IN THIS MANUAL
  • •3am
  • •Bedtime delay tactics
  • •"One more"
TABLE OF CONTENTSOpen manual
THE DAD MANUALISSUE 26031

Food Logistics

Snacks, car snacks, snacks you didn’t know about.

DIAGRAM / REFERENCE
EMERGENCY SNACKSMYSTERY DRINKCRUMB LAYERBANANA RESIDUESTICKY SURFACE EVENTCOMPONENT: CAR SEAT ZONESTATUS: CONTAMINATEDREV: 1.0 • USE: FOOD LOGISTICS
IN THIS MANUAL
  • •Snacks
  • •The crumb stratification layer
  • •Emergency snack depletion
TABLE OF CONTENTSOpen manual
THE DAD MANUALISSUE 26041

Public Incidents

Shoes, aisles, and the long walk to the car.

DIAGRAM / REFERENCE
MELTDOWN RADIUSBYSTANDER JUDGEMENTEXIT PATH: BLOCKED"WATCH THIS" VECTORINCIDENT IN PROGRESSCOMPONENT: AISLE EVENTSTATUS: PUBLICREV: 1.0 • USE: INCIDENTS
IN THIS MANUAL
  • •"Watch this"
  • •Shoes in public
  • •Are we there yet
TABLE OF CONTENTSOpen manual
THE DAD MANUALISSUE 26051

House & Stuff

Remote disappearance, bathroom protocol, general weirdness.

DIAGRAM / REFERENCE
SOCK VOIDREMOTE GRAVEYARDTOY DENSITYUNKNOWN WET PATCHDO NOT INVESTIGATECOMPONENT: BASKET UNITSTATUS: UNRESOLVEDREV: 1.0 • USE: HOUSE/STUFF
IN THIS MANUAL
  • •The remote
  • •Socks
  • •Turning off the tablet
TABLE OF CONTENTSOpen manual